Wow. Really? For me? 

Those were the words that were flowing through my mind as I was driving home with Rahel. 

I cannot believe you guys went through all that trouble for us. It was a real trip to see the In ‘N Out truck on the church parking lot. 

I couldn’t believe all of the things you guys said to us/about us. I told Rahel that you guys must’ve been mistaken or didn’t get to know me that well for the past year and a half. I honestly don’t believe I was worthy of the things you were saying about me. But thank you. 

 

After everything was said and done, I went back to church, mainly to get my bible I left behind, but also to just take a moment of silence and be alone.
I sat in the sanctuary staring at the greenish bluish chairs, and reflected on the past (almost) 100 Sundays I’ve spent there. 


It has been quite a journey and I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to be on the journey with.

In my past two churches, when I’ve left, I’ve left the with notion that I gave all that I could’ve given. In my last setting, people might still think that I was prone to injury. In my 2 years at my last church, I visited the ER 3-4 times. I was constantly getting injured, constantly getting sick. (For crying out loud, I had a bout with gout while in Hawaii. Gout! I was like 27, and I had gout!) When I said good-bye to the people there, I knew that I literally gave all that I could for God and that church. I was pushed to the limit physically and emotionally. 

 

Leaving here, I do still feel that I gave all that I possibly could. But sitting in that bluish sanctuary, I realized that I am taking much, much, much more than I have given. (And in my 2 years here, I only went to the ER once, and that was to go see a parishioner). I left both DC and Hawaii running on empty and feeling spent, but I’m leaving here feeling surprisingly full and energetic. 

 

I’ve learned so much from you. I was surprised to hear that you learned a lot from me too. But I think I walk away with a lot more than I leave behind.
One of THE MOST important lessons I have learned for you is that I can take things slowly. I’ve always had the pressure to feel that I have to give a 100% 100% of the time. A mentor once told me that he told his congregation: “You can have a 100% of me 80% of the time, or you can’t have 80% of me 100% of the time.” When he said those words, I didn’t quite grasp what he meant. But now I do.
Thank you for allowing me to give you my 100% and at the same time, not blaze through on a 100% level all the time.
Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes and letting me breathe as I try to figure out who I am as a disciple of Christ.
Thank you for your love and grace and really, the room to be as casual as I could be (I’ve never got to experience wearing jeans with holes in church before. I absolutely love it!)
But above all, thank you for letting me be me. I know I’m weird and off-beat. It’s probably why I got along with Mark so well. And I know that I’m somewhat of an acquired taste. But you didn’t hold that against me. 

 

I just want to take a short time in thanking the people who I spent the most time with, next to my wife. 

To Shannon:

I wasn’t joking when I said that without you, the church wouldn’t be operating as smoothly as it is. And I think everyone else knows that too. Often times, I’m sure you can do what I do, but I know for a fact, I can’t do what you do for this church. I have to admit, at times, I felt a bit guilty while you were folding envelopes and I went to Starbucks to work on stuff, when I fully knew I could’ve stayed behind and help. Sorry that I never did, but thank you for not holding it against me. (And thank you for keeping Bob occupied, otherwise, he’d be talking to me a whole lot more. I’m soooooooo kidding!!! I loved it when people stopped by the office and I was there to talk to them). 

You just made being in the office fun and it was always fun when your girls would roll in with their sleeping bags during their breaks. (It gave me more reasons to procrastinate and be distracted). Thank you for your dedication and keeping Mark and I in check. Oh, and preparing our checks so that they could be signed by the right people. 

 

To Pastor Mark:
You were the exact type of mentor I needed at this time of my ministry. I walk away knowing that if you can do ministry, I can do!! I kid, because I love. Thank you for your advice, insights and criticism. Thank you for the freedom to do ministry. It was refreshing to not fight the fact that ministry can happen outside of the office. Thank you for allowing me to log in thousands of hours at the various starbucks in Fountain Valley and Costa Mesa. And thank you for trusting me to get the work done, even if you weren’t around to check up on me.
The one thing I will remember for the rest of my life was when someone complained to you about me (and sorry about that. I’m sure it happened a lot more than I want to believe), you said to the person, “I’m not his boss. I can’t really control him, nor do I want to.” That was a mind-blowing moment for me. I would’ve never heard those words in my previous settings. That gave me the confidence to try anything God had placed in my heart, because I knew you had my back. And because of that knowledge, that made me want to work even harder.
Thank you for being the type of mentor I so needed. I have learned a great deal from you. 

 

So, Mesa Verde Church family, you can always keep tabs on me. I’m proud of the fact that when you google my name, that I’m the first to pop up. (At least at this moment.) I always updated my personal blog, and will continue to do so at www.pressingtoward.wordpress.com. I’m on facebook way more than I should be (www.facebook.com/pastorjoe) and also on twitter a lot more than I should be (in fact, my twitter updates my facebook status for me; twitter.com/josephyoo). I will no longer be using the This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it email account. Please feel free to contact me at any of the above mentioned social media or my email: joseph[.]yoo[@]gmail[.]com. (Just remove the brackets. I don’t know why I’m so paranoid, but I feel writing my email address like that prevents spam. I have no idea if there’s any truth in that.)

 

I left the sanctuary feeling uplifted and ready to accept the next chapter of my life God has laid out for me. I am ever grateful to our God for the almost 2 years we’ve spent together. I am grateful that God had placed me such loving people. 

Please keep us in your prayers, and while you’re praying for us, you might as well pray that we have a kid soon. Or, don’t be surprised if somehow either one of us end up on the news for trying to steal a baby. I’m sad to say that I think I’m half kidding... 

 

And we’ll continue to pray for you.
As Rahel said, words could not express the debt of love that is owed by these thankful hearts to God and to our Mesa Verde family. 

 

We’ll miss you all terribly. 

God be with us all in our respective journeys. 

 

In the words of one of my childhood heroes:

Up, up and away!

 

 

Jim Wallis, in Rediscovering Values, makes an interesting observation.
He writes:
[There is a] contrast between the steadily declining prices of so many consumer goods, especially in the electronics and entertainment industries, and the dramatic rise in the cost of things like education… What gets cheaper and cheaper is looking at screens – flat screen televisions, computers, cell phones and Blackberries – listening to music on iPods and other portable devices… At the same time, education for our children – one of the highest priorities for all parents – is costing more and more and putting us and our children into crushing, choice-limiting debt.

Makes you think, huh?
I recommend his new book. I’m not good at writing reviews on books, movies or any other medium. But this books consistently makes me think and say hmmmm.

 

 

In Where Set Backs Are a Part of Life

I got the dreaded call earlier than I expected, which completely blind sided me.
As of now, one of my papers did not pass, so I will not be eligible for the interview process. At this point, I hope that all 3 have failed. I assume come next week, I will learn the reasons why they did not pass.

Of course I’m bummed and a bit annoyed, but I’m also surprised that I am not angry.  I told all my friends that I would be okay if I didn’t pass the interview process, but would be thoroughly angry that if I didn’t pass my papers. But I’m not angry. Not even a bit.

Before I sent my papers in to the board, I said a prayer telling God that all is in His hands, and if I pass it is by His grace alone and if I do not pass, God has some things to teach me a bit.

These past two years have been a very humbling experience for me in ministry. I’ve learned a lot about myself, especially in how self-confident and self-reliant I can be. God has been teaching and showing me (sometimes painfully) that I need to rely on God and that my confidence should come from God. God has reminded me, that apart from Him, I can’t do much.

Truthfully, everything has been coming to me easily, in terms of finding churches to work, ministry areas, appointments… Though, very thankful, looking back, it was leading me down a dangerous path in that had a part in making this happen. That I was part of the formula for the big successes in my life.
Perhaps this is one of God’s way to continue to teach me to be humble and remind me that my life is not mine to control, but God’s.

The shock has worn off, thanks to a half mile walk to Starbucks from the church. The disappointment lingers, but not as much. And I’m thankful that I am not angry.
I trust in God that this is still part of God’s plan for me.

I won’t get ordained before I turn 30 which was a personal goal that I had. (Oh, which reminds me… after the call, I went to our sanctuary, and spent time in prayer just asking God to help me accept this and help me learn from this experience. But I also told God that since ordination wasn’t in His plans for me this year, a baby girl better be. And time’s running out for a baby to be born in the year of the White Tiger, which happens every 60 years, 2010. )

I’m still young. Though the age 30 does scare me a bit.
And this ordination process… in my heart, I know that God has already ordained me as one of His pastors and to ministry.
This process was to be officially acknowledged by my peers that I’m ordained. I’m okay without having that for another year.

I can now joke about this.
I’m thinking about showing up to church this Sunday with a big red “FAIL” stamp on my forehead as I preach.

I think it’ll be funny…

 

 

Oh Silly Thomas

When I was a junior in high school, our friends got together to celebrate bringing in the New Year at a friend’s house (as was tradition). That year, I had to babysit my brother, so, I brought him along. He could just sit in the corner and be invisible. As long as he didn’t die, I’d be okay.
We started to play a game called “Screw Your Neighbor.” And the stakes were set. Whoever lost had to put on this green spaghetti strap. (I forget what happened if a girl lost.) Anyway, as fate would have it, I lost. Rules were rules and bets had to be honored. So I strolled into the bathroom and put on this real small neon green spaghetti strap shirt and strutted out of the bathroom. People laughed. Others took pictures. My brother? Well, Lord knows what went through his mind, but he balled up in the corner and started bawling like the little girl he was (I don’t think my brother cries as often nowadays. At least I hope not). It was rather funny.

Years later, I was graduating college and was going to move to DC to attend seminary. So my friends put on a good-bye party. One of the presents I received was a collage of pictures of memories and goodbye notes from friends. In the top right corner of the collage, there’s a picture that I thought no longer existed. It’s a picture of me a skinny green spaghetti strap shirt. I could not believe that one of my friends still had that picture. I probably can imagine why my brother wanted to cry seeing me in that, because I wanted to cry seeing that picture. But there it was, forever to remind me that I lost in a stupid card game and faced the consequences by dressing up as a girl. The collage of pictures sits on my desk, and though it’s tempting to remove that picture once and for all, it serves as a good memory and a reminder that I do not look good in green.

Speaking of not looking good in green, Thomas often gets a bad rap as a disciple. (My English teachers always said I needed to work on my segues.) I remember one of my youth pastors preaching to our kids that Thomas is not a good name to name your kids because he will always be associated with being a doubter (the pastor should’ve known better. There was a good boy named Thomas that went to that church…). But I often think that Thomas being labeled as a doubter rather unfair. I mean, he didn’t know someone there was taking notes and would bring it up every time the story was told. “So, get this man. There was this guy named Thomas… and even as Jesus was, like, standing right there, Thomas wouldn’t believe it!” It’s like, someone caught him wearing a neon green spaghetti strap shirt, took a picture of it, and flaunted to everyone saying, “See? He does like dressing up as a girl!!!” It’s like having a bad picture of you plastered all over facebook and people will always remember that night when you (fill in the blank). Not fair. Because that picture just captures a fleeting moment in time.

It was just a fleeting moment in time, and a rather fair statement to make: Unless I actually see the dude, I ain’t gonna believe you guys. I mean, the dude (Jesus) died. They all saw it. Then this same dude stands in front of the door and says, I’m alive. I’m sure Thomas wasn’t the only one in the room that thought, “whoa… what was in that piece of fish I ate?” I mean after all, Tommy wasn’t even there when everyone saw Jesus. What if he thought that the disciples were going through some kind of withdrawals?

And besides, it’s not like we never doubt, right? We’ve all wrestled with doubt, in one form or another.

But, to limit Thomas as a doubter, I think that’s unfair. That’s like labeling me as a cross dresser. (And for the record, I am not. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)
When we discuss this story of Thomas doubting, I think it’s also important and fair to Thomas, that we bring up John 11 as well.

Jesus just heard that his friend Lazarus had passed and Jesus wants to go back to Jerusalem. His disciples were all worried and asked Jesus, “You really wanna go back to Jerusalem? Dude, they just tried to stone you a little while back. Let’s just hang out here.” (I paraphrased.)
And then, it was Thomas, who spoke up and said, “Let us also go, that we may die with [Jesus].” Thomas was willing to follow Jesus to Jerusalem, even if it meant that they would get stoned with Jesus as well. We don’t know what the other disciples were thinking. But we know what Thomas was thinking. And he spoke up, rather courageously. He was going to go back to Jerusalem with his Rabbi whatever the cost may be.

So, sure, Thomas was a doubter. But it’s a shame that’s how many people remember him as. Thomas was more than a doubter. In fact, we could argue while many of the disciples doubted Jesus’ plan to see Lazarus in Jerusalem, Thomas was not. It wouldn’t be fair for us to be remembered by one mistake we made in our lives or have that one mistake define who we are as a person. He was a good, loyal and faithful disciple, just like the others. (Well, Judas Iscariot… I don’t know how I’d defend him).

And just to be safe, I hope that picture of me wearing that spaghetti strap never gets out. I’d have a lot of explaining to do… 

 

Rob Bell

Rob Bell is one of my favorite contemporary theologians.
He is going to be coming to the Wiltern in LA to speak/preach.

If anyone is interested, here's the link https://www.robbell.com/dropslikestars/tour-dates/
and his website robbell.com

The date is 2/20/10 and the tickets are 17.00 (plus 8 bucks on handling fee.. geez) or 20.00 if you show up at the ticket booth (assuming tickets are available).

Just thought I'd share the info with you just in case you may be interested. =)

 
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